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News you can use… (Scroll down to see all)

  • New Name
  • New Features
  • Topic of the Month: Safety
  • Question of the month
  • Books
  • Poem: The Forever Changes
  • Subscribe and Give Your Tips
  • Who we are

Survivors of Violent Loss Blog has a new name: to more reflect what it is and its outreach. The new blog will be called: Violent Loss Resources and will be more like a newsletter. This new site will reach folks across the country and in various size communities, agencies and family forms. Each death is unique and has many complexities. The only similarity is that each of us knows violent death.
The poem, The “Changed Forever” ( see below), reflects we are forever changed when we have experienced a loss or worked with those who have.

The News You Can Use…. will feature resources for those who live and work with violent death. Collective contributing will expand the resources for us all. What you tried, what worked for you may help someone else.
The plan is to feature Resources, Tips and True Experiences. Each month will feature a focus on one topic.

January Topic: Safety for you and those you love.

parallel justice webVictim Safety Should Be A Top Priority, says Susan Herman, NYPD Deputy Commissioner and former Executive Director of National Center for Victims of Crime. In her book: Parallel Justice for Victims of Crime, safety is listed as one of her guiding principles. Her principles helped us outline the topics in the Murder Survivors Handbook.

MHScoverwebLook at Chapter one in Murder Survivors Handbook for more information on this topic. Here is an edited excerpt:
The world is not safe. Life was different before the murder of your loved one. Now, you no longer say that bad things don’t happen. So one of the first tasks is feeling safe, or as safe as you can be.

The contributing survivor writers in the book want you to know: “We are all victims, just like you… There is no manual on what you are to do when you are suddenly a victim. We want to add to the knowledge that you will need as you move forward. When traveling the road ahead, you will need courage and patience. Although each of our stories is different, you will not be alone as we travel this journey with you.” Everyone who contributed to this book hopes that your journey will be better for going with us on ours.”

Here are some things to think about to add your list that you can do to help increase your sense of safety:

 Form an army of support.
 Report threats.
 Have a security check done of your home.
 Have Family check-in regularly.
 Check with your Neighborhood Watch group for safety guidelines.
 Limit what you say over the Internet and in social media.
 Turn off the TV. Be selective.
 Have a safety kit comprising emergency phone numbers, cash for expenses, flashlight with fresh batteries, and filled prescriptions.
 Give keys to your home only to people you can trust.
 Cover windows to prevent viewing; install peepholes for help in identifying someone at your door.
 Put up “Beware of Dog” signs whether you have a dog or not.

Question of The Month: What do you in your family or workplace to feel safe? What tips, resources and experiences do you have? Reply now to help others that may need it. Sign up now, to receive the updates as they come. You may just have that piece of information that will make a difference in the overwhelming time after a violent death for someone.

Go to the upper left hand corner and SUBSCRIBE NOW.

The “Changed Forever”

As I walk through the shadows of death ,
and I now know evil.
I refuse to let the shadow of evil keep me from appreciating life,
the newness and joys available every day.

Whether that be seeing a new mural in a small town
or noticing dried leaves blown into a bouquet by the wind;
seeing the drops of water on an unopened bud,
the smile on the faces I pass.

As I walk through the shadows of death ,
and I now know evil.
I refuse to let evil keep me from appreciating life,
the newness and joys available every day.

Smelling the pine-filled breeze in the forest,
tasting a slice of foot-high lemon meringue pie found off the Illinois I-40,
or noticing the strengths in people
who also know evil, as they have lost love ones to murder.

They too are “the changed forever.”
I refuse to let the shadow of evil keep me from seeing their strengths
amid their raw devastation,
or honoring their work, making a difference for
those “changed forever.”

As I walk through the shadows of death ,
and I now know evil. I am not lost.
Connie Saindon (2013)

Murder Survivors Handbook, Real-life Stories, Tips & Resources . Best in Self-Help Gold Award winner with Independent Book Publishers.

Violent Loss Resources Team, contact us.

Connie Saindon

Larry Edwards

Survivors of Violent Loss exists to build a lifeline of hope and healing by providing support and education to those who live and work with violent death. Coping isn't easy. Survivors of Violent Loss can help. (619) 685-0005